Love Question: I need Advice?

I've been with my girlfriend (only girlfriend) for about 8 months now. July 21st last year.

I don't feel as though i'm in love with her.
I care about her soooooooo much and I think she is an awesome person and she does mean the world to me. but.. I like my space, she went over seas for a month and I didn't really miss her that much at all, when I hear love songs I don't think of her, they remind me about how much someone i was in love with hurt me.

There is so much I want to do and I don't want to settle down and commit and worry about someone all the time and make sure it's ok with them for me to do things so they're not lonely.

I ask for space but it doesn't work for her, I don't wanna hurt her, I kinda told her yesterday and she fell to bits over it but id rather it happen now then later on down the track, she is great and i know im hurting her. but my concellor told me you cant be with someone out of pitty.

love is love right doesnt it have to be that special kind of thing, I dont feel happy. I wish she could be, maybe in the future but i feel like we rushed things way to much and i just miss having my freedom.






Answer :
Because you believe "you should never let anything, anyone or any excuse hold you back from doing what you wanna achieve in life" it seems to me that you should let her know that you want to move on in your life without any commitment right now, and that it doesn't mean you don't love her, only that you have places to go and things to do before you might someday be ready to settle down with somebody.

Yes, if she loves you and is attached to being with you, it will hurt her, but it will hurt both of you if you just keep stringing her along while wishing you were free to live your life as you want to right now.






Answer :
As much as It sucks dude you know the answer. Its better to hurt someone because you walked away then to scar them for life saying something hurt or even worse, if you care about her than you should let her go and enjoy your freedom. But really think about what you want.






Answer :
Let me first say: There are many forms of love.

I'm sure and can see that you do care...but i can also see that you don't care for her as much as one should while in a relationship.

I do not get your question but best thing for both you AND her is to break up (if you have not already).

Even though she will be hurt, she'll get over it and find someone else. There are many others.
But you should let her know that you do love her...but more of as a good friend. (Because that is basically how you feel)






Answer :
Honey your counsellor is absolutely right, you cannot nor should not be with anyone out of pity, even just for friendships sake. People have actually married when one felt the way you do, and the marriage goes on for some years, but the yearning to really feel that special emotionally love that truly does bite us when it happens, will nag away at you, and eventually people such as these end up having affairs.

So your perfectly right in saying better the hurt now than X amount of years down the line, when you may not just be hurting yourself and her but you own kids.

Sure the poor girl fell to bits for she is in love with you, but she is also hurting because deep down she knows her love is unrequited love, and that it will never work if you don't feel the same. So be brave, tell her you know that she is hurting, and that when she comes to realise that it was for the best that you split, and is over the hurt she is feeling now, you would appreciate still being friends with her - friendship has a love of its own, and often one that is more guaranteed to last, tell her that, and maybe it will help.

Unfortunately today many young girls and women push you guys for marriage too quick. They have their heads in the clouds with the romance of it all, but marriage is a life time commitment and one that brings romantic wishes down to reality very fast. I am not opposed to marriage, I am not saying that, but when you got a house to run, a job to go to daily, and then pick up your kids on the way home from work - romance even then has to be worked at, cos your both so tired. She thinks of love and marriage as that beautiful wedding day and fairy story ending.

Your doing the right thing, say what you need to say and walk away quickly. She will not be the only one hurting for a while anyway, so will you, for I can tell your a decent guy that hates the idea of hurting her feelings, but you will hurt her a far lot more if you go along with her and her dreams.

Good Luck. And by the way she will come to understand one day that it was the right thing you did, and she will respect you for that - but right now she still has some emotionally maturity to gain.