I reworked this,better? Worse? Eh,what?

Thoughts on the Sea World disaster

Once this fierce leviathon
threaded waves from hurricanes,
his freedom bursting from his breast
just like his churning spitting breath.
Now a sorry speciman swimming a small pool
with no conviction.
He dragged the mermaid to her death, unconscious of her love for him.
He perceived her as another circus toy
another tempting fish
to make his addling brain
even more confused
as to what his role is supposed to be
in this wrong and fearful place.






Answer :
BRAVO! Poor thing was imprisoned BEFORE he committed the crime. My condolences to the family of the trainer, though; she had to have loved her work - and the creatures.






Answer :
First of all, I hate, ... nay, loathe people who kiss butt without any real depth to their analysis.

My opinion, what do I think?
Eh. It doesn't seem to flow enough for my own taste The word "conviction" doesn't quite seem right, in my own opinion. A sorry specimen swimming a small pool with no conviction.... so he's swimming, without being convinced of the truth, not accepting that he's in captivity? Maybe that's what you mean?

Just FYI, "leviathon" is "leviathan".

I actually think he did know she felt love. I think that's why he got hormonal and grabbed her, because in a way he was reaching out to her. Poor guy. This is an example of how I would write it, in my own way, using your poem as inspiration:

Once this fierce leviathan
threading waves from hurricanes
swimming, eating, bursting freedom
no shackles, loneliness or pain

now a prisoner confined in place
condemned for venting frustration
mother nature defends its case
beast pleads, twas only affection

restless, confused he swam around
hormones raging, calmness abating
day dreaming the past, applauding crowd
thoughts of escape, his family waiting

motherly saint who feeds me fish?
Oh look a human toy what's this?
Leaping craze, his grand finish
an innocent mermaid, meets heaven's bliss

Something like this..... with flow. entertaining, sends a message, easy to understand.
just my humble opinion, I hate criticizing art, I prefer to use it to inspire myself to create something new and different :) so no criticism here, your art is yours, your work inspired me to express it in my own way :)